Oh, how intriguing it is to grow. Nobody ever tells you what growing truly is—not just age, weight, or height—but growing in the aspect of letting go of the past that has defined you, letting go of an ego that constantly shouts your mistakes, learning from others, and, most importantly, embracing CHANGE.
That sensation you get when you first begin sprouting.
The pen has always been with you when you realize you haven't been in control of your story, but you give it to others to write.
For so long I have done this to myself, I continued to write stories about people who tell their version of my story. It's as if you were told what to write down and then just let it happen. What your character deserves and does not deserve, how she interacts with the world. That is what you believe. You go through life living a life you don't like because you didn't create it.
I'm afraid to be happy because I don't think I can make my dreams come true. I was in my twenties before I knew it, with no idea how I got there. I've spent my entire life waiting for the shoe to drop, and when it's quiet, I find myself looking for the shoe to drop on myself.
And, to be honest, it feels awful, and it's the most intense form of self-hatred I've ever experienced. You expect nothing good to happen to you and when It does, you perceive it as the universe showing you mercy. And you go through life as a bystander, bridging others but not yourself. To put it another way, you lack purpose in life because you haven't created one for yourself.
But once you hear or read the most life-changing thing, whether it's from a book, podcast, or whatever, It brings you to the point of awareness, as I like to call it.
Recognizing that you have the ability to take the pen from the hands of others and write whatever you want about your future. It is no longer necessary to believe that your dreams are invalid or that dreams are only for a certain group of people in the world, and you are not one of them. The outside world is not a projection of the future....making visions and dreams for the future as awesome as possible.
You deserve to think positive and inspiring thoughts about yourself. You no longer have to carry the victim on your shoulder. Always and having the victim's story ready to tell someone.
You can have visions, dreams, short-term and long-term goals, and look forward to the future. I have to because I deserve it.
What have you learned from your past to get to where you are now, and what can you use to steer your future upward? What connections, skills, and ideas have you developed that you can use in the future?
That is where you begin: aim for the stars and have faith.
You don't have to be your old self; instead, FIND THE NEW YOU and GROW.