Lost

As I grow

The sense of being lost appears quite frequently lately…

I have been away but It has been for the best, I can assure you…

Since I began pouring out my entire self through words, a lot has transpired around me. I can say

that it has brought a lot out of me.

I can say it has brought a lot out of me,

I like to think of it as being like a wounded, raging lion that is trapped in a cage. It's no accident that I chose a lion in this situation by the way. Knowing that I am a Leo and that this sign is typically represented by a Lion always brings me back to the beast inside.

I can honestly claim that in one month, I have changed and matured.

I have grappled with finding my purpose, grieving, hurting, losing, and breaching boundaries.

My sister would tell me, "We live and we learn," but at the time, I didn't entirely understand what she meant. The desire to learn and yet want to live so that you can live out the moment you put your lessons into practice in your life and possibly have the opportunity to teach your children.

Do we make it that far?

This month, I had a spiritual calling for tasks above my capabilities.

I would reply and say I don't believe I can but in the book, I like to read called the bible, I noted the flaws of people who were given important tasks by God. Strong heroes like Gideon, Moses, David, and many more have emerged from circumstances of weakness. If I may put it this way, they have achieved fame through the power of the person who assigns them.

Does that thus also apply to me?

Am I ready to venture into territories I only dreamed of but never thought I could get to?

Am I willing to put in the work and live the life I have always dreamed of?

Am I ready for the downs?

Am I ready to be in the world and not of It?

Am I ready to play the part the Almighty creator has set for me?

Am I ready really?

And the answer can only come from my faith.